"same old?" "same old."
by shekinah louis
12th of January 2011
I overheard the girls in class talk about a pool party today. They came up to invite me earlier, but I told them I’d already been out last week (Indian parents, am I right?). Although I told them to carry on without me, I secretly wished they didn’t. I mean, Armin was gonna be there, they should’ve known how that was gonna make me feel.
Anyways, I came home to listen to my One Direction album instead. I definitely could’ve snuck out, like all the teenage girls in American high-schools do, but you know how it goes. I chose to dive into my revision instead. My parents always say that if I work hard now, I won’t have to later. I hope this is true and, future me, I hope you’re sipping on an iced tea right now while vacay-ing with your best friends. I hope this pays off some day.
(P.S: My English teacher told me in class that I have a real gift. She said I could be an author someday!)
12th of April, 2021
Arial font, size 11, with double spacing. That’s my usual assignment format, so I figured I’d try to practise it as much as I could. I haven’t written a journal entry in 10 years, and it would’ve probably been 10 more if I wasn’t assigned this for my Intro class.
I slept through the day. That’s probably something noteworthy. I had an iced coffee for lunch earlier (but don’t read much into that). Apart from those usual habits, I watched some Netflix, I scrolled through the missing assignments on my student portal, and tried to see if I could remember how to play Fur Elise on the piano.
I can’t remember the last time I went out. The pandemic is still here, and the cases have begun to rise again. To the future version of me, I hope the virus is gone by the time you’re reading this. You deserve that, at least.
If it weren’t for this pandemic, I probably still wouldn’t be able to go out as much with my friends. It’s not that I don’t want to, I just haven’t been able to relax even when I’m outside. I keep worrying that my parents are going to call, or my sisters, to tell me that something tragic happened at home and I'll have to rush back immediately. This did happen last year, so it’s not an intrusive thought or anything.
I should probably stop this here before I start oversharing, but I think you get the general picture. After I type this out, I’m probably gonna reread my slides from class today. I’m aiming for a 3.7 CGPA and I’m hoping that if I work hard on my upcoming exams, I will be able to land a good job in the future. That’s what my lecturers say, anyway.
Future me, I hope you eventually find a way to relax and find peace. Once this pandemic is over, I hope you get out there and get the vacation you so desperately need. I know this will pay off someday.
Shekinah Louis has always been fascinated by how words can possess such a powerful hold on someone's life, let alone their moods. Words have had a humongous impact in her life since her early teens, especially in the form of poetry and prose. Shekinah hopes to embody that in their own work, and wishes to write pieces that invoke strong emotions, and deals with the feelings that one would normally wish— or hope— to avoid.
Honey Simatupang is an illustrator from Indonesia currently based in Rotterdam, the Netherlands. She feels most like herself in the dark of the cinema, watching life appear in front of her; and in the first light of day, talking to her houseplant Maurice.